


God help and forgive me, I wanna build something that’s gunna outlive me

by DormantAshes



Series: It’s all fair in love and war (therefore we all should suffer) [5]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Dissociation, Fear, Fear of Death, Gen, God Complex, I don’t know what to tag, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Lots of god talk, Not Canon Compliant, Not Really Character Death, References to Depression, Self-Reflection, Short One Shot, Spoilers, dream has a god complex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-05
Updated: 2020-10-05
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:14:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26837275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DormantAshes/pseuds/DormantAshes
Summary: A small insight on Dream’s mindset near the end of the war for L’manburg.
Relationships: Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound (mentioned)
Series: It’s all fair in love and war (therefore we all should suffer) [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1943179
Comments: 1
Kudos: 64





	1. They think me Macbeth, ambition is my folly

**Author's Note:**

> Its been a hot minute since I uploaded but I found writing Dream to be kinda difficult.
> 
> But I tried :3

Its dark and Dream is alone.

He's always alone nowadays.

Things are different now, him and Sapnap are different now. They don't talk like they use to.

Its always war.  
Blueprints.  
Supplies.  
Allies.

Never what it use to be.

Dream feels alone. 

He should-  
It'll be easy-  
He can't-  
What-

What would have been the point then. 

He can't end this war.

If he did, it would have all been for nothing.

He built this nation. He built it from the dirt and rubble to a home and a sanctuary.

He built this world for the gods. 

But Dream is only human. 

Gods do not bleed.  
Gods do not suffer.  
Gods do not cry.

He gazes at the lands of L'manburg. The ruins he placed it in, he can still smell the lingering gunpowder and smoke in the air. He remembers the adrenaline of it all, the thrill of seeing their shocked expressions. He remembers watching Eret lead them away, the feeling of bloodlust rise in him, the excitment of the thrill of the hunt.

He does not remember their screams.

He remember's George's.

Remember how he was pulled away and thrown the the ground, saw the fear and horror in George's eyes.

It hadn't quiet clicked then.

That these people are not immortal.

They are not Gods.

Wilbur bleeds.  
L'manburg suffers.  
Dream...Dream cries.

He is alone.

There is no Sapnap. Not anymore.

Theres no George.

No Dream.

No gods.

Just a man with bloody hands.

A man afraid of himself.


	2. Teach me how to say goodbye, rise up- rise up- rise up-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ambedo
> 
> n. a kind of melancholic trance in which you become completely absorbed in vivid sensory details—raindrops skittering down a window, tall trees leaning in the wind, clouds of cream swirling in your coffee—briefly soaking in the experience of being alive, an act that is done purely for its own sake.
> 
> Nodus Tollens
> 
> n. the realization that the plot of your life doesn’t make sense to you anymore—that although you thought you were following the arc of the story, you keep finding yourself immersed in passages you don’t understand, that don’t even seem to belong in the same genre—which requires you to go back and reread the chapters you had originally skimmed to get to the good parts, only to learn that all along you were supposed to choose your own adventure.
> 
> Pâro
> 
> n. the feeling that no matter what you do is always somehow wrong—that any attempt to make your way comfortably through the world will only end up crossing some invisible taboo—as if there’s some obvious way forward that everybody else can see but you, each of them leaning back in their chair and calling out helpfully, colder, colder, colder.

Dream doesn't know who he is.

Most days he floats.

A walking corpse.

He thinks he may have won this, there has been no activity in L'manburg for weeks.

He does not believe Wilbur survived.

He wants to feel guilt, he yearns to feel it, feel regret and horror. But his mind is empty. Everything around him feels plastic, breakable. Nothing is grounding. 

Dream can't feel. 

Dream wants to feel.

Please I want to feel.

There is nothing.

There are no Gods to comfort him, there never were, just a mirror and an ego.

What happened to him?

How does he escape this nodus tollens state?

How does he break this pâro cycle?

He needs an ending. He needs this to be over.

He needs to finish the arc, the story. He needs to close the book and put it on the shelf. Let is collect dust.

He needs George back home.

Maybe then he can be back in his body, in reality and not this ambedo. 

He needs a victory. 

A finite ending.

He needs to find Tommy and end it. 

Before he stops existing completely.


End file.
